Christmas myth and reality

According to most biblical scholars and historians, Jesus was actually born in the spring of the year March / April. The celebration of Christmas was timed by the early church fathers at the council of Nicaea to coincide with the pre-existing Pagan celebration of Winter Solstice recognized by most early agricultural societies.
Rudolph is actually a female, as male reindeer shed their antlers each year, and only the females of the species retain their antlers all year round.
Santa Clause is actually just a fat bastard in a red suit invented by the Coca Cola Corporation as a marketing strategy kept alive by the retail industry to feed their greed for profits and keep us consumers in debt.
Being merry is not a part of Christmas for way too many people, as statistics show us there are more cases of depression and attempted suicide etc. than any other time of year, caused by social conditioning and unrealistic expectations.
Any more out there?

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